I didn’t have a perfect pregnancy. I experienced intense morning (and evening) sickness, vomiting like there’s no tomorrow, threatened miscarriage, monthly pimples (but thank God it was gone by my 6th month), resignation from work, separation anxiety after I got married, bed rest, a little high blood sugar levels, threatened pre-term labor, confinement due to pre term labor to name a few.
But despite of that, I believe I have been blessed to enjoy this pregnancy, blessed to have at least a healthy pregnancy, blessed to have a healthy and active baby boy inside me, blessed to have spent every waking day of the last 7 months with our baby boy at home and blessed to have the best support system all around me.
This miracle of life called Pregnancy has been a spectacular one. I did gained weight (27 lbs as of this moment) but I didn’t look like a whale. I didn’t look like a “manang”. I still have the “curves”, especially when I’m on my back (I don’t look pregnant, they say). I also love the new curves I have, the pregnancy curves. Oh! The Pregnancy Glow! I was still able to enjoy being a wife to my husband. And lastly, I deeply enjoyed and will always cherish connecting with my baby boy inside my womb.
The so far – 37-week journey with my baby boy has been anything but amazing.
But I wasn’t warned. No one told me that the last few weeks would be different. I thought I have already gone through the worst of the worst. But no, it is in the last few weeks (maybe days) that I have been feeling all kinds of pain all over me. I endured 22 hours of IV because of pre-term labor. I had to have a healthy and fibrous diet to decrease blood sugar levels. I have to stay in bed. That’s just the mild stuff. Then my back starts aching. Aching so bad the whole day. I literally now have a pain in my a$$. It’s so excruciating. As if I have just sat the whole day. I now have a hard time to find the perfect sleeping position. Thus, I couldn’t sleep well. If I lie on my back, I couldn’t breathe. If I lie on my left, which is the best position, baby would keep on moving like he’s telling me he doesn’t like it. So I shift to my right which is not really advisable. My legs and fingers are starting to numb. It’s so hard to stand up, to sit up and insomnia. Top it up with being a little bit emotional.
The 35 weeks of my pregnancy has gone so fast. It’s like every day is on fast forward mode. It suddenly started to slow down at 36 weeks. I started with my early labor a few days ago. I have started to lose my mucus plug. I already have those menstrual cramps feeling, add the massive back and butt pain, as well as the pelvic pain and heartburn. By today, I am so anxious that I wanted him out already.
I want him out because I’ve been having a hard time already because of all the pain. BUT I want him out already because I want to see him and be with him and care for him already. And I know there’s nothing I can do, or anyone can do to relieve me from this pain because it’s all part of pregnancy. I try my best not to complain and just deal with it. My baby just have to be delivered, that’s it.
In a way, I have also been having fears on how and what will happen as I deliver this baby. I’m scared of the pain that I may feel. But I wanted this, I should get through it. How will I be with my baby boy if I wouldn’t pass the last test of motherhood?
I am almost praying and begging my little boy the last 2 nights not to be hard on me, to come out already. It’s not that I just want to get out of this pain and get some relief. I just want to have the best gift out in my hands, arms already. My baby boy is coming out very soon. And regardless of my anxiousness to see him, I think I also have this sad feeling inside me that soon my womb will be empty, I won’t have this belly anymore. That I will never again feel the kicks and punches of my little one and no more daddy talking and playing with my belly. But on the brighter side, he’ll be here beside us, real kicks, real smiles, real giggles and cries. Now, I feel sad no more. This chapter will be over soon and we will open another chapter in our life, with a new character that everyone will adore and love.
I know nothing of what motherhood is or will be for me. I don’t know who I will be once he is born and become a permanent fixture in our lives. But I know, I will learn. I will figure.
Baby boy, we are so ready for you, I am ready. Ready to feel all the pain from labor and delivering you. Ready to accept the new challenges that you will give us. But I am quite freezing time a little, knowing that this will be one of the last few days of our time together like this. So again baby, take you’re time. We’re ready when you are ready. We will be patiently waiting for you.
See you soon our dear Marcus Angelo. Daddy and Mommy loves you! Can’t wait for all of our adventures together!