It’s not even a month ago, when my Lola Paz left us. Today, Philippine time, my Lola Fe left us too.
An alarming news reached me last February 8. Papa told me that my Lola Fe was brought to UCLA Santa Monica Medical Center (Feb 3) due to mild stroke and then later found out that she has the Big C, late stage. PS. Lola Fe is my Papa (real dad)’s mother.
Regrets.
Upon learning the saddening news, I’ve been crying. Thank God for Ate Aiya and Kuya JV for always updating me with what’s happening there. Thank God for Ate Aiya for always telling Lola Fe how much I love her and that I’m always thinking of her. I regret that I wasn’t able to call her up last week. I was 
supposed to call my aunt’s house in Lakewood so that Lola Fe could listen to my voice. I really wanted to do that. But during one time, at 3am (Pinas time/11am Cali time) when I was about to call, na stuck up ako eh. I didn’t know what to say, I suddenly got scared. I just told myself, I’m going to call tomorrow. There’s still time. I have faith that she won’t go sooner. But then, now she’s gone and I couldn’t do anything about it. I wasn’t able to speak to her anymore. I know deep down in lola’s heart, I’ll always be her grown up little girl that she last saw in 2006.
supposed to call my aunt’s house in Lakewood so that Lola Fe could listen to my voice. I really wanted to do that. But during one time, at 3am (Pinas time/11am Cali time) when I was about to call, na stuck up ako eh. I didn’t know what to say, I suddenly got scared. I just told myself, I’m going to call tomorrow. There’s still time. I have faith that she won’t go sooner. But then, now she’s gone and I couldn’t do anything about it. I wasn’t able to speak to her anymore. I know deep down in lola’s heart, I’ll always be her grown up little girl that she last saw in 2006.Longing.
Since she is based in the US, I never get to spend time with her. The first time I really remember seeing her was when I first visited them in LA. The second time was 15 years later, again in LA. She visited the country 3 years ago but I didn’t get to see her ‘coz I learned about it really late already. I wasn’t contacted. I really long for my lola fe. She’s one of the people I love the most. I was excited for my US trip in a few months because I’ll finally see her again, but it would never happen anymore, she’s gone.
Memories.
I’ll just stick to the memories I have with her and cherish them forever. I’ll always remember her bakeshop with yummy pastries. I’ll always remember her green grapes and apples in her backyard and also the beautiful flowers. I’m honored for at least one time in my life, my lola fe baked me my very own birthday cake when I turned 5. I always love my two baby dolls she gave me, that looks so real – it’s a boy and girl. (I should get them from auntie chi na ulit) Every 1000 pesos she sends me every Christmas when I was younger will be missed. My baby picture stuck in her fridge. Most of all her hugs and kisses. I have little memories with my lola fe because she’s so faraway. But these memories will be etched in my heart always. So long, my dear lola fe thanks for all the gifts you gave me, for the love even if we’re miles apart, for taking good care of me when we were together. You’ll always be a part of me, and no matter what happens, I’ll always be an Adea. I love you Lola Fe, I’ll keep on missing you forever!
PS. As for the title, since my lola fe bakes the best pastries, now that she’s gone on earth, she’ll now bake it in heaven! Serving Lolo Danny! Maybe my lola paz & lolo ding also!
PSS. Coincidently, before I learned about my lola’s death, I was spending the whole afternoon with my mamang, my mom’s mother. She was telling me stories and then we went grocery shopping. One of my happiest times, spending idle times with my grandparents. You guys better cherish those moments, coz you’ll never know when they’re going. Show them how you love them. I remember my lola crying when she saw my cousin chad after not seeing him for more than a year. Lola’s are really emotional when it comes to there apos. They spoiled them to death. That’s why I love being with my lola and lolo. They’re actually my last set of grandparents alive. And I’m wishing them longer years to live. I love you mamang and papang!
WanderWoMom 