My Mind is as cluttered as my Heart

Celine to Onay: Sana nanatili na lang kami ni JB dito. So much has changed. Some for the better. Some for the worst. Pero alam mo ‘tong islang to? Parang ganun pa rin eh. Parang Time stood still on this island. Sana pwedeng ganun noh? Sana ganun na nga lang. Pero hindi eh, life, keeps on changing. And in an instant, Life is you know it is.

Onay: Nalulungkot lang ako Miss Celine. Kasi diba sa buhay natin, hanap tayo ng hanap ng tamang lalaki para sa atin. Mga tamang pagkakataon para papasukin siya atchaka mga tamang dahilan para mahalin siya. Bakit kayo, Miss Celine, nahanap niyo na yung sa inyo pero iniiwan niyo pa.

Onay: Hindi niyo na po ba mahal si Sir JB, Miss Celine?

Celine: I’ve loved JB all my life. I think I was born to love no other man but him. I loved him too much, it hurts. But more than myself, I think I’m hurting him the most for loving him too much, knowing that I would leave him soon. At alam kong mahihirapan siya dahil sinanay ko siya sa sobra. And I know that Love should not be like that diba? It shouldn’t be selfish.

Onay: Pero kailan ba talaga naging selfish ang pagmamahal Miss Celine?

Celine: When you refuse to let go, even if you know you are keeping him from being truly happy.

Onay: Pero pano kung ikaw ang happiness niya? Kung ikaw lang ang makakapagbigay nun?

Celine: Kung tunay kang nagmamahal, Ibibigay mo kung ano ang makakabuti sa kanya. Hindi kung ano ang gusto niya, o kung ano ang pinaniniwalaan niyang makakapagpasaya sa kanya.

Onay: Pero hindi ba mas selfish yun Miss Celine? Ang karapatan ng isang taong magdesisyon kung pipiliin ba niyang masaktan sa pagmamahal o hindi?

Celine: Sabi sa’kin ng mommy ko noon, Loving JB is like fighting destiny. And you never win against destiny Onay, never.

——

Maging Sino Ka Man, February 18, 2008 episode

——

You know the title? It’s also Celine’s line in episodes to come. And I feel that way now.

*sigh*

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