An excerpt I from the book I read last night, Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac, Gabrielle Zevin:
“How’s James?” Dad asked. (James was Naomi’s BF, they just broke up)
Truthfully, I hadn’t thought of James at all. I hadn’t had time- not with Dad’s wedding and Will’s sickness and Will and my photography and tennis and yearbook.
It was strange, really. A couple of months ago, I had thought I couldn’t live without him.
Apparently, I could.
That I could forget him so easily, more than the loss of James himself, made me melancholy, I guess. I wondered if Mom had felt that way about Dad when she met Nigel again. I wondered if my biological mother had felt that way about my biological father, and even about me when she’d had to give me up.
“I don’t see him much,” I said to Dad finally.
“It happens, baby.” Dad nodded and patted me on the hand, and then he read my mind. “You forget all of it anyway. First, you forget everything you learned- the dayes of the Hay-Heran Treaty and the Pythagorean theorem. You especially forget everything you didn’t learn, but just memorized the night before. You forget the names of all but one or two of your teachers, and eventually you’ll forget those, too. You forget you forget your junior year class schedule and where you used to sit and your best friend’s home phone number and the lyrics to that song you must have played a million times. Who knows what it will be for you? And eventually, but slowly, oh so slowly, you forget you humiliations-even the ones that seemed indelible just fade away. You forget who was coold and who was not, who was pretty, smart, athletic, and not. Who went to a good college. Who threw the best parties. Who could get you pot. You forget all of them. Even the ones you said you loved, and even the ones you actually did. They’re the last to go. And once you’ve forgotten enough, you love someone else.”
Actually, this could contradict what I believe in. Coz on my part, I won’t really really forget everything. I’m not that type of person who forgets. But what really happens to me is nakakalimutan ko lang na meron akong minamahal ng todo todo dati, na nawawala lang siya sa isip ko. Pero it doesn’t mean nakalimutan ko na siya. Once in a while, I would still talk about him. It doesn’t mean that I haven’t moved on. Pero sigurado, nanjan lang siya sa puso ko. Magmahal man ako ng iba, hindi pa rin siya mawawala, kasi naging part na siya ng buhay ko. 🙂
Pero ang weirdo ko kasi I could somewhat relate to that part of the book. Di ko alam pano. hahaha. Pero maybe, because I could live without him pala 🙂 Duh. I could naman talaga. haha.